so let's talk penis.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
