Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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