remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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