does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
