Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
