if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
