i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
