operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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