how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
