The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
try to milk me bitch
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