we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
