You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
