using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
