Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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