ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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