I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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