I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
