no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
