nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
