nut hugger
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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