ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
