so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
