that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
