can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize