I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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