I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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