just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize