i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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