please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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