She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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