I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
