She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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