I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
