it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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