You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
