Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
