You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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