We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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