In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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