Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
