just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
