I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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