I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
