I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
