I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
