How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
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