im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
