Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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