I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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