And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
