hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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