I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
