You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
COCAINE IS GR8
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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