We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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