If i come over, it means nothing
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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