just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
