I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
