Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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