So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
