Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
