I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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