69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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