If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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